Am I Typical?

Stop! Why answer that so quickly, mean-spirited follower? Give me a chance to compare our behaviors before boldly declaring me abnormal. Because sometimes I do something that may be considered quirky, then wonder if anyone else does the same thing. Are you with me? Let’s see.

I get giddy and smile like a pageant queen as the buses take my kids away in the morning, then I dance a little crazy jig when I get inside the house. Every day.

I also smile at myself when I pass by a mirror, just to be friendly to myself. (Believe me, there’s no other reason I’d smile at my appearance these days.)

I stick my tongue out at drivers who are mad at me. Sometimes I just point at them and laugh, just to tick them off more.

Instead of squishing them, I extend the life of most insects by bringing them outside. I’d do the same for mice and chipmunks, if my husband didn’t insist on killing them.

I can’t listen to Prince without doing a little Norwegian Middle Age Woman grind.

I don’t notice at all when I say “uffda”. Everyone else seems to take note, as in, “She lives in a metropolitan area, she’s under age 95 and somehow she’s not embarrassed to say utter that Norwegian cuss-wannabe.”)

I taught my dog how to dance with me. She has two left paws but lets me lead.

When no one’s around, I sit at the piano and sing songs by The Bangles. (“Eternal Flame” anyone?)

I still like to believe that animals go to heaven.

I enjoy coloring more than my kids do.

My dollar bills are always facing the same way, a harmless holdover from my bank teller days.

I brake for sunsets and rainbows. I’d stop for unicorns too, if they were real.

I can look a four-foot-tall pile of dirty clothes squarely in the eye without picking it up but stop immediately to adjust a picture that’s not perfectly straight.

I often eat all the dough before I get to baking the brownies or cookies. I once woke up at 3 am and craved brownie dough, hauled my sleepy butt out of bed, and made my sweet dream come true.

Have you heard of lucid dreaming? I can actually control what happens in my dreams. I won’t get into details but that’s a GREAT gift when you’re longing for things you’re too timid to do in real life. Like fly. Or eat clouds.

I have perfect pitch, and I test its accuracy often. I’ll hum a specific note, then go to the piano and play the note to make sure the two match. Yep, that’s middle C alright.

When all alone, I’ll close the door of our little half-bathroom to create an acoustic wonderland, then sing Heart songs as if I’m THAT Nancy – along with her sister Ann Wilson. The room’s too small to recreate their signature kicks, though.

After I clean a room, I’ll peek at it several times throughout the day just to remind myself how good clean looks and feels. So this happens, like, once a month. At best.

I’m embarrassed to say that I believe 10 am is the new 7 am when it comes to getting out of your PJs, and 3 pm is the new 5 pm when it comes to happy hour.

Okay. Now I see why you answered so quickly.  I’ll concede that my “normal” may be your “weird”, and I’ll probably like you more if your “normal” is my “freak show”.

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