Am I Typical?

Stop! Why answer that so quickly, mean-spirited follower? Give me a chance to compare our behaviors before boldly declaring me abnormal. Because sometimes I do something that may be considered quirky, then wonder if anyone else does the same thing. Are you with me? Let’s see.

I get giddy and smile like a pageant queen as the buses take my kids away in the morning, then I dance a little crazy jig when I get inside the house. Every day.

I also smile at myself when I pass by a mirror, just to be friendly to myself. (Believe me, there’s no other reason I’d smile at my appearance these days.)

I stick my tongue out at drivers who are mad at me. Sometimes I just point at them and laugh, just to tick them off more.

Instead of squishing them, I extend the life of most insects by bringing them outside. I’d do the same for mice and chipmunks, if my husband didn’t insist on killing them.

I can’t listen to Prince without doing a little Norwegian Middle Age Woman grind.

I don’t notice at all when I say “uffda”. Everyone else seems to take note, as in, “She lives in a metropolitan area, she’s under age 95 and somehow she’s not embarrassed to say utter that Norwegian cuss-wannabe.”)

I taught my dog how to dance with me. She has two left paws but lets me lead.

When no one’s around, I sit at the piano and sing songs by The Bangles. (“Eternal Flame” anyone?)

I still like to believe that animals go to heaven.

I enjoy coloring more than my kids do.

My dollar bills are always facing the same way, a harmless holdover from my bank teller days.

I brake for sunsets and rainbows. I’d stop for unicorns too, if they were real.

I can look a four-foot-tall pile of dirty clothes squarely in the eye without picking it up but stop immediately to adjust a picture that’s not perfectly straight.

I often eat all the dough before I get to baking the brownies or cookies. I once woke up at 3 am and craved brownie dough, hauled my sleepy butt out of bed, and made my sweet dream come true.

Have you heard of lucid dreaming? I can actually control what happens in my dreams. I won’t get into details but that’s a GREAT gift when you’re longing for things you’re too timid to do in real life. Like fly. Or eat clouds.

I have perfect pitch, and I test its accuracy often. I’ll hum a specific note, then go to the piano and play the note to make sure the two match. Yep, that’s middle C alright.

When all alone, I’ll close the door of our little half-bathroom to create an acoustic wonderland, then sing Heart songs as if I’m THAT Nancy – along with her sister Ann Wilson. The room’s too small to recreate their signature kicks, though.

After I clean a room, I’ll peek at it several times throughout the day just to remind myself how good clean looks and feels. So this happens, like, once a month. At best.

I’m embarrassed to say that I believe 10 am is the new 7 am when it comes to getting out of your PJs, and 3 pm is the new 5 pm when it comes to happy hour.

Okay. Now I see why you answered so quickly.  I’ll concede that my “normal” may be your “weird”, and I’ll probably like you more if your “normal” is my “freak show”.

2,596 Replies to “Am I Typical?”

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