He Popped the Question

Yesterday was that age-old, Hallmark-created holiday that we know as Valentine’s Day. You know that day when we ask other people to be our Valentine? Well my husband came home with a dozen red roses, much to my delight. And then he asked that question:

So what do you do every day when the kids are at school?

Ahhh, I love it when my husband questions what I do all day … said no wife ever.

So I listed all the things I do during my days: clean this, cook that, launder this and vacuum that. I volunteer for this, transport this person to that place, grocery shop for this, complete that form. I even confessed to things that a dedicated homemaker shouldn’t, like taking a nap, stalking ex-friends on Facebook or getting Pinterested in crafts I’ll never actually make. I even owned up to catching up on the latest Bachelor, Good Wife, Parenthood or Modern Family – a natural sequence of life stages played out in my favorite shows on the boob tube.

(On a little anatomical detour, let me tell you that there are boobs aplenty on Bachelor, but the Good Wife is a high-powered attorney so she doesn’t show hers. The mom on Parenthood had breast cancer so we blame hers for making life difficult, and Modern Family brings us back to Gloria-ous boobs aplenty.)

Back to the question, though. What do I do all day? Before I answer that, dear, I have a question for you: why don’t you flush the toilet after you pee? Okay, I know that you’re trying to save money by not wasting water. But here are my two cents, which is probably what you save every month by not flushing. My time is money, honey. It’s gold, like the color of our toilets after your urine stains its insides. But do you notice how our toilet bowls are miraculously white, despite your efforts? That’s me. You’re welcome.

Here’s another one: when’s the last time you clipped our kids’ nails or gave them a bath? No big deal really – I love doing both. But do you notice that your kids don’t stink and their nails don’t curl grotesquely and scrape the floor when they walk? That’s me. You’re welcome.

These are just little things. But my days are full of little things that my family may or may not notice, some important and some not, some for their benefit and some for mine. I don’t spend every minute of every day as a happy homemaker who cooks and cleans. Some days, I’m happy … some days, I’m a homemaker. Often I’m both, so thanks to my husband for making this stay-at-home-mom gig a reality.

But tonight when he asks me what I did all day, I’ll tell him that I blogged about that question for all my followers (i.e., me and my ego) to see. And that 15 minutes of venting made me happy. Now off to attempt a little homemaking …

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